I think we've pretty much decided that we can't play favourites when it comes to being a good Admin but how would you handle a friend who's acting out? One who's verbal-ing attacking another member (perhaps another friend?) weather it be through PM's or on the boards? One who's being a general nuisance and turning other members off? Perhaps they're not breaking rules just strutting about annoyingly.
I've personally found this situation very hard. Like I said, we've pretty much agreed you can't play favourites but would you treat a friend somewhat differently than you would someone else because they're your friend? Maybe you wouldn't give them more leeway but would you be harder on them or would you be more likely to wear kiddie gloves when talking to them?
It IS hard when a friend breaks the rules. For the most part, I use the same technique as I do for "non friends".
My first move is to contact them by pm and try to explain what the problems is and why it is an issue. If there is a conflict at the heart of the outburst (there frequently is), we go over it and see if there is a way to amicably resolve the problem. Often that works. If it doesn't, then I regretfully have to remind them that we have rules of conduct that we need to follow despite our feelings.
I try to remain calm, friendly, and helpful. I try to listen to what they have to say and work with them, no matter what they say about me in the heat of the moment.
I've had people storm off at this point, but members have come back later, admitting that I was fair. Some of them are more supportive members for having learned firsthand how I respond in a crisis.
My friends are bright enough to realize I'm not making any special demands on them, fortunately, and I've never lost one to this sort of thing, bless them. At least, not for long!
This can cause many problems as you guys have explained but personal friends who decide to join up i may give them a custom title of there choice as a friendly gesture but i would not make them staff unless they proved themselfs and earned the position just like anyone else would have to do
Basically i would stand up for whoever is in the right friend or not if they are your really friends and they know you then they should respect that and not take the law in to there own hands so to speak just because the are friends with the main admin
I would treat the friend the same as i would anyone else
I don't have any real life friends, that I am aware of, that are on my boards. I found myself in the situation a couple years ago that a staff member and I had become friends, and then she was disrespectful to a problem member. I explained to her that just because the member was causing issues, that did not give her license to disrespect the member. I sent her a PM asking her to apologize, and she would not; she deleted her account from the forum. This was after a few months of questionable behavior.
I haven't had the situation happen again, which is good. I'm pretty decent friends with my staff, but not to the point where we talk regularly outside the boards or anything.
If the situation were to arise again, I would take pretty much the same course of action; PM the member, subsequently warn the member that they would lose their staff status if the behavior continued, and then strip them of staff powers. Then, I would just be proceeding as if they were a normal member.
Post by Pipamonium on Apr 26, 2009 14:29:32 GMT -5
I have never made a friend a member simply because they were my friend. So that isn't an issue with me at least. Most of my friends know that I don't give my friends any kind of prefered treatment and I've never been asked to be made a staff member by any of my friends. If a position opens my friends know I'll ask someone I feel can fill the needs.
I also regularly make friends of my staff, and my members. I can often be found chatting with people outside the forums on YIM or even, in the case of one member, sending 5-10 page letters on a VERY frequent basis. Still... I also find myself to be harder on friends. Where a random member could break a small rule and I'd contact them and let them know what's up and be real nice about it... if a friend toed the same line (even without crossing it) I'd lay into them the next time I got to talk to them.
I was recently exposed to this problem with two of my staff members, Acctually one of my Graphic designers and co admins. They got in a fight on one of their sites and took it out on eachother on my site. They then tryed to tell me the other wasn't a good staff member, I gave them a warn and told them that fighting of any kind was aginst the rules and if they wanted to stay staff they would drop the issue. They have since quieted down. I consiture them trustworthy, but I'm not sure I could officialy call them friends. But, there are many definitions of the word friend, so I don't really know. The best way to deal with the problem is to warn and stay with your word, I guess. You don't want them to think they can get away with it after you have warned them, simply because they are your friends, don't treat them any different, would be agreeing with the above statements. In my opinion that was the best corse of action.
I make sure they can refrain from acting like that, and I am usually correct.
Or sometimes they were regular members and I give them the staff position so they wouldn't do it.
I am currently looking for staff for my board, if you are interested in moderating, graphic designing, or coding, please P.m. Me, come to my board at thischathaven.proboards.com or reach me through e-mail. Radicalrachel1941@gmail.com